But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
NoShamevember. You game?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
