Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize