If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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