i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
