life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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