You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
