no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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