grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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