I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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