Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i came on her dog
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
