she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
