I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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