This is not my ceiling
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
