I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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