He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
