Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
