found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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