What a fucking waste of an outfit
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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