i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
