Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
this will be a night to untag.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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