Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
