Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize