Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
