So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
