Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
