roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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