Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
