Whatcha textin bout Willis?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
