But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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