so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
