Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
