This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
