I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
