my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The air was thick with penises
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
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