Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
