TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
