So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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