I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
foreskin is a definite game changer
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
