i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
