So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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