there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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