I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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