You can't motorboat a personality
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
