guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
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