ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
