He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
