booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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