I must be too annoying 4 u.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
