I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
