The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
How naked do you want me to be?
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