the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
