I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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