Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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