Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Me too!
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't want my vagina anymore.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
