addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
