Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize