You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
