If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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