I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
