I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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