Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
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