i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
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I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
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just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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